I've missed everyone so much!
Just a quick note: I didn't go to Cleveland Clinic as planned but instead I'll be heading off to John Hopkins in Baltimore, Maryland literally any day now. My planned length of stay will be 4 - 6 weeks and hopefully, I will come back a whole new gal!
The last 8 - 9 months have been virtually hell for myself, my family and my friends [God Love em' all] Things just got progressively worse until I found myself back in a hospital bed and unable to walk without assistance and hey, I'm to young and gorgeous for that LOL! J/K but without my sense of humor, I'd go insanely mad and start shopping online uncontrollably! Ruh-Roh... I think that's already happened...
Unfortunately, being in the hospital bed in full view of everyone, left me nowhere to hide my pain or the secondary spasms that go with my disease & trust me - thems be some shake, rattle and roll spasms, too :o( I didn't have anywhere to hide anymore, my bedroom which is fairly large is my comfort zone: I can keep it dark, hide my tears, hide my sobs... you get the picture. It was in my control what people saw; my husband works a lot of hours, my friends and family call before they come over and if they didn't call, I just pretended to be asleep when they came in. I did all my visiting in there because my health was deteriorating and there is room in there to do so. Now, being back in the family room after so long not only felt intrusive on my 'private' hell but also felt like failure.
Things were easier to hide when I was more mobile but when your hospital bed is in the family room...not so much....
Needless to say I became pretty depressed even to the point that I stopped reading and that's the first time that has ever happened to me in my entire life. I didn't read for about 2 1/2 months - I didn't watch TV, I didn''t eat (not even Hershey's Air Delights -which I love], wouldn't answer the phone if it was for me - I didn't do anything but sleep and cry - eventually between my friends and family the docs deduced I was depressed
Now, on a happier note: I'll be going to John Hopkins and I couldn't be happier. I'm so motivated to go and gain as much of my life back as possible. Learning to control my pain using Biorhythm, deep meditation and other methods is exciting. Using diet, Acupressure and Acupuncture, getting my muscle tone back using a variety of disciplines and using holistic methods to my health back without the 23 pills in the morning, 18 pills at 2:00 pm and 23 pills at bedtime is going to be amazing.
I know I can do this and I can't wait to go. I'm just waiting for the call now that we have the money we needed up front. My husband worked his ass off last month to make sure I'd have the money up front that Medicare doesn't cover and believe me, it isn't cheap but hopefully it will be well worth it] He just wants his wife back to snowmobile with, ride on the back of his Harley and just learn to enjoy life again.
I'll be taking my LT and my KF-HD 8.9" with me (Yes, I do really love my new Kindle and I got it basically free with business credit card card points that I turned into Amazon Gift Cards.
I have a big PROBLEM with getting Kindles, I have 4 now: A Kindle DX that I loaned to my niece, A 3G Kindle 3 with keyboard, A Kindle Fire and a Kindle Fire-HD 8.9".
So, yeah, I'm a Kindleholic but if loving kindles is wrong then I don't want to be right.... I'm holding my hand to my forehead in a very dramatic gesture, kind of Scarletesque - [you'd be impressed, teeheez] - clutching my Kindle Fire to my heart with a look of pure love and devotion on my face, my other fist grasping the air desperately for understanding... LOL....
I'm thinking of doing a KINDLE FIRE GIVE-AWAY soon! What do you think? I think it's a great idea! I'm open for idea's on Give-away Contest ideas, so if you have one, let me know!
My good pal Betty likes the idea and she's an avid reader.... see? Help me find a good contest idea, Buds!
Wish me luck everyone and really wish that they get me in soon. They made it sound as if it would be within the next few weeks... it's a 12 hour drive for me so I hope they give me more than a days notice.
Please forgive me for being a terrible blogger buddy, I promise to make it up to you all this year!
Lots of Love and Fan-Faery-Tastic Reading to you all!
Alien in Chief - Gini Koch
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